I’d say I’m a ___ out of 10. Everybody asks “How you doing today?” And if you’ve noticed, nobody really answers. I want to know, how are you doing, really? Listen to How Are You Doing, Really? For the spring, I … Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. But instead of moving on, he said, “No. What do you want? remember where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years. If not, please Consider Dumping the False Teacher You Currently Sit Under and also Truly and Personally Seeking the LORD. I mean a real true answer. Everyone pretty much agreed that this was the first time, at least that day, that any of us were actually considering a real answer to that question. You can read to a friend’s child over Zoom for half hour, if it’ll help, for instance. Well+Good decodes and demystifies what it means to live a well life, inside and out. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), How ABC’s Thursday Night Line-up Has Made My Life Better. Tired? And if you’re fatigued with talking about COVID-19 all the time, here are few ways to positively change the conversation. My hope is that listeners will be able to empathize with my guests in order to gain new perspectives of compassion. How are you doing? “These days, conversations can feel awkward because there’s this looming backdrop of how not normal our lives are now,” says relationship therapist Debra Roberts, LCSW, author of The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. Personality Abuse I love you all. Do you give the impression that you really want to know how this person is? This one works well if you’re checking in on someone who’s quarantining with one or multiple other people. Are You Growing to Know Who Jesus Better and Who He is? NOTE: the following are taken largely from Puppet's Cloud Mining 101 reddit post, which is a great supplement to this post. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. We have come to use this expression so often in all of the above situations that … Not what you tell everyone (i.e. Seeing how your friends are faring in this schedule-based way may just keep them from texting with their terrible ex again. He asked us how we were all doing, and in unison, everyone gave the standard “Good” answer. How are you doing? HOW ARE YOU DOING? So, how ARE you actually doing? It is only natural that you will want a quirky response other than the old and bold “I’m fine, thank you.” If you want to show off how unique and witty you are, these responses are good to go with. Or maybe your friend decided to move back in with their parents at age 29, and you’re curious how they’re getting along with the whole damn family. Our editors independently select these products. Keeping things open-ended versus just asking a yes-or-no “are you taking care of yourself” will give you more of a roadmap for how to follow-up their answer. I am here to have honest conversations with people around the world. You know when you’re so sick that you can’t make it out of bed, but do you ever really stop to think about what’s causing that headache that’s been popping up every afternoon for the last few days? Hope this status quo persists for rest of the day. If any of these red flags are present, we recommend proceeding with caution. Optimistic? Sometimes you fall in the middle, and it’s beneficial to know that. Trust me, you do not want to know. Telling this person they’ve … So, you can ask this question to make that active one-on-one time to see, well, how someone is doing, authentically. 4. Here, it actually sounds natural to use the adverb well because it’s modifying the verb to do, not the verb to be. You don’t even have to answer me. We’re all there sometimes. episodes free, on demand. Like a pig in a butcher shop. Because really, what can you say? © 2021 Well+Good LLC. 9. 6. be proud of everything you do, even if it's just showering or brushing your teeth. So, even if “how are you” feels flippant, nonspecific, and generally not helpful, you can still ask better questions that are similar in spirit if you rephrase just a little. How do you know? You … When you wake up, ask yourself “How am I?” and then really think about the answer. 7. The answer you give when someone asks how you’re doing is usually an automatic, standard response. What emotions are you experiencing? Usually, neither person is anything but “pretty good” these days, ... You really can't ever get rid of it. as we abide by social-distancing guidelines, general worries about how this pandemic will affect us, The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. This question checks in on the status of the whole household. But what do we really know about this ubiquitous phrase? 3. In response, friend A conforms with the present perfect progressive tense by saying, I’ve been doing well. It starts by simply asking: “How are you really doing?” Most of the time you’ll find that someone is just happy that you cared enough to ask so they feel free to vent about their bad day — or bad month or year. How are they occupying their vortex of time? Somewhere between doing better and best. Genuinely ask yourself the question, “How are you?”. I could really go for a massage, now that you asked. When a friend asked if I was taking care of myself, I found it to be the sweetest way to check in. Don’t worry, you’re not a bad person for falling under the “I don’t actually want to hear how your boss is the worst for the next five minutes” category. But in light of the lack of human connection we’re experiencing as we abide by social-distancing guidelines to slow the spread of COVID-19 and general worries about how this pandemic will affect us and our loved ones, we’re doing more regular check-ins with our circles than ever. A blog about all things wellness to help you find what works for you, brought to you by Rachel and Jor-El of Viva Wellness. The only things that should be black and white are zebras and cookies. Armed and ready for anything! Take care. We need you at your best! It’s better to know that you’ve been feeling more anxious than usual before something sets you off into a full blown anxiety attack. Maybe they have a good show recommendation, or maybe they’re enjoying a comfort binge that you can both be nostalgic about. Ultimately, the goal of identifying other ways to say how are you is to replicate the feel of hanging out in person and genuinely connecting. If you're new to a company and leading a … You ask. basically mean the same thing and are both commonly used. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. Also on my walk, I stopped at Lella Alimentari for a cappuccino and frittata. They feel better after you talk, less alone, and perhaps hopeful. Start in the morning. While "pretty good," and "OK" are quick answers, experts say finding out how you're really doing will help in the long run. The innocuous “How are you?” at the start of a conversation—which is normally understood in American culture to be a polite way of expressing concern for a person’s well-being, and to … This is a great alternative to “how are you?” for your friend who is so totally stressed out by this new normal. I want to know, how are you doing, really? Next question, please. After sunshine, a good listen, caffeine, a good breakfast, and some hugs from Dale, I feel a lot better. Also, are YOU okay? Maybe this is someone wrapping up coursework for their master’s degree at home, despite having no graduation to walk in; or maybe it’s someone who can’t set WFH boundaries with themselves, let alone the kids they’re trying to homeschool. yields standard responses: Busy, Fine, Good. But let’s not lie to each other. “When you’re checking in and asking the other person a question, be sure to listen to their answer,” says Roberts. Writing. “It makes us hesitate to reach out, since, for the most part, we’re all dealing with the same stressors and fears. “How are you doing right now?” That’s the question I’ve been defaulting to on the phone, over text, and over Zoom chats during this time of ballooning, Covid-19-fueled communications. Episode 32 of The Viva Wellness Podcast is LIVE. It’s just a part of our social norms. and How are you doing? Plus 10 things you can do right now as part of your circle of influence to create rejuvenation, healing, and empowerment for you, others, and your community. Psalm 142:4 I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul. Express how you are feeling. “How are you really doing?” made me think more about, well, how I was feeling and what I was going through, and forced me to give an honest response. Before you talk about how your co-worker has an advantage over you… Before you start any of that whining and crying… Ask yourself… Are you REALLY doing your best at your job? Focus on how your loved ones are keeping busy and entertaining themselves, and let the conversation unfold from there. If you beleive you have found a legitimate clound mining company, you can really make sure by putting it to the test. Do you feel anxiety? 1. But the other side of always giving that automatic answer of “I’m good!”? With so many dusting off their home yoga mat to balance their couch time, many are finding themselves already fatigued by the same vinaya videos they’ve been watching for weeks on end now. Okay – Here’s another quick, neutral answer like “fine” or … Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission. Do you actually care? or "how are you 'Really' doing? Are You Truly Blessed? Think about the last few times someone asked “How are you?”. Let's face facts — our mental, emotional, and physical states belong to us. To me, growing up in the South, this is what a normal interaction looked like, but one day, I began to realize that if we really go beyond our mediocre how are yours, then we could really, truly, get to know not only strangers that we pass on the street but our closest friends as well. She gets most of her inspiration for the blog while on the run, and if you ever need to find her, she’s probably in Central Park. 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